Things Have Changed For Me
Feb. 18th, 2019 12:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowhiveThings Have Changed For Me
Pairing: Mikey Way/Ryan Ross, referenced Brendon Urie/Spencer Smith and Ryan Ross/Spencer Smith
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Hurt/comfort
Notes: Forturps happy birthday! I hope you like this and have a awesome day
Mikey settled into the sofa, letting out a soft sigh. He loved touring with the guys, playing on stage and meeting fans and all that went with that. The trouble was, though, that there wasn’t much space or time for yourself. Since he had some time off now he was able to get some much needed alone time, to rest and relax.
He grabbed the remote for the tv, flicking it on when his phone vibrated beside him, signally someone had sent him a text. The guys had insisted he put it on silent, or at least vibrate, due to the sheer volume of messages he often sent back and forth. He took ahold of it, bringing up the message to see who it was and what they wanted.
‘can I come over?’
It was from Ryan and Mikey smiled before quickly typing out a reply. ‘Sure, when do you want to?’ Ryan was a pretty nice guy and good company, so he’d not mind a visit from him. They’d met while touring and hung out a few times, even hooked up, so Mikey couldn’t help but wonder what he had in mind.
Over the next half an hour he kept glancing at his phone, expecting some kind of response but not getting anything. Mikey didn’t mind though, he did tend to reply right away, faster than most people usually expected. He flicked through the channels, before finally settling on watching something about cakes. It amazed him how bakers could use sugar, buttercream and icing to turn cakes into just about anything from animals to cruise ships. They were like works of art, so much so that it was almost a shame to cut them up and eat them. The bakers were just discussing how to make a guitar cake that could be played (which made him wonder if he could get them to do one for Ray) when he heard a knock on his front door.
Mikey frowned a little, but rose up from his seat anyway. “Coming!” He called out, though he wasn’t sure they’d hear him. He padded through the apartment, down the hall to the front door. He opened it a little to see who it was, then smiled and opened it further. “Hey Ryan! I didn’t expect to see you s...” he frowned when he saw Ryan’s face, how sad he looked. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He gestured for him to enter and Ryan slipped inside.
He’d paid him a visit before, at his housewarming, so he knew exactly where to go. Mikey followed him, watching as he sank down onto the sofa. It was only then that he spoke. “I’m not in Panic! anymore.”
“Wait, what?” Mikey blinked in surprise, before settling down beside him and turning the volume of the tv down. “Are you ok?”
Ryan shrugged slightly. “I was at lunch with Spencer the other week and it just... came up. Me and Brendon have been at odds for awhile now, he just wants to take things in a different direction.” He sighed, leaning back against the sofa. “It was mutual... but it feels like maybe he should have actually fought to keep us.”
“Us?” Mikey frowned slightly at that, reaching over to stroke his arm. “Did Spencer leave too?”
Ryan snorted and shook his head. “No, he stuck around with Brendon. It’s Jon that came with me.” He paused, turning to look at Mikey, he looked sad, frustrated. “He was my best friend Mikey, why couldn’t he stay with me? Where’s the fucking loyalty?”
Mikey could hear the bitter edge to his voice and he suspected there was more to it. He wasn’t exactly sure what to do or say to help his friend. Ray was better at this kind of thing, he had such a big heart and could connect to people better than Mikey ever could. Ray wasn’t here though, Mikey was.
“I’m sorry Ryan, I really am.” He reached over, wrapping an arm around him gently. “What can I do to help?”
Ryan looked at him and he got the impression that even he didn’t know what he wanted. “I don’t know Mikey. I want Spencer to come with us, but I know that he’s not interested in doing that. I just... I need to be with someone you know? Jon’s great but he’s... not the best at these things.”
Mikey nodded as if he knew what he meant. He didn’t know Jon all that well, so wasn’t sure what Ryan meant by that exactly. Mikey looked Ryan over trying to work out how exactly he wanted to be with someone. Did he just want company or did he want sex? Or maybe a mix of both? “Well I’m here for you. Would you like to watch something? I can make us something to eat...”
“No!” Ryan shook his head and smiled slightly. “I’ve heard what happens when you go into the kitchen, I’ve got no desire to die.”
He was right of course, Mikey wasn’t the safest person in the kitchen at the best of times, that’s why he usually just got stuff that he could just stick in the microwave or oven (although those had led to... incidents too). “I can order take out if you’d prefer?”
“Yeah. That’d be good.” Ryan returned his smile and looked through the options that Mikey handed to him. After his various kitchen disasters Mikey had made sure to get all the pamphlets from the nearest take out places that did delivers just in case guests didn’t want to risk his cooking. While he did that he went over to his dvd collection, picking out a few things that might serve as a good distraction for Ryan (but weren’t gory enough to put him off his food). Hopefully they would help.
At least that was the plan.
Ryan was looking at him over the pamphlets in his hand, biting his lip and looking too serious for someone that should be contemplating food. “Have you ever been in love?”
Mikey considered the question for a moment. He’d had relationships before, sure. That thing with Frank when they lived together, that summer with Pete but neither felt like that were... love. Not true, deep love, like how it’s made out to be in movies. The closest thing he had to that was Gerard and that was complicated. Special. Theirs. “I’m not sure I have.” He looked over at Ryan and a wave of realisation rolled over him. “You loved him, didn’t you?”
Ryan looked away for him, then nodded. It took him a few more moments before he spoke, his voice soft. “Yeah.”
Of course he did, shit. Mikey returned to sit beside him, reaching over to stroke his side. “I’m sorry. Were you... together?” He hadn’t heard anything about it, but they could have kept it secret. Especially from Pete since he was a fucking blabbermouth.
“No. Fuck...” Ryan shook his head, sighing softly. “We’d fooled around a few times but I never admitted to him how I felt. It just, fuck, it never felt like the right time to tell him.”
Mikey considered what he should say in response, wishing again that Ray was here to give him words of advice and comfort. “Just because he’s staying to be in band with Brendon doesn’t mean...”
Ryan snorted in derision, looking up at the ceiling. “But it does. He’s not just staying with Brendon out of loyalty or some shit like that.” When Ryan’s eyes met Mikey’s they were shiny and Mikey knew what that meant even before he said it. “He’s dating Brendon. He’d never even told me. I’m supposed to be his best friend and yet he kept that from me. He only bothered to tell me when I bought up leaving.”
“Shit... Ryan I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks...” Ryan sighed, shaking his head and wiping tears away from his eyes. “I’m sorry, I was meant to be picking food...”
“Hey it’s ok. Don’t worry about it.” Mikey offered him a small smile, pulling him into a hug. “I’ll order us some pizza and then we can watch something if you want.”
Ryan smiled a little when Mikey broke away from the hug, nodding. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Thanks Mikey.” Mikey took ahold of his phone and the pizza menu. He just hoped that it would help take his mind off things.
***
Mikey considered the day a success. They‘d watched a few things over pizza and shared some Ben and Jerry’s, which all seemed to have helped. He’d said goodnight to Ryan a few minutes ago and he’d took Mikey’s offer to stay in the spare room.
It hadn’t been how he’d expected to spend the day, but all things considered it hasn’t been a bad day. Mikey curled up under the soft covers of his bed, closing his eyes and preparing to settle down to sleep.
“Mikey, are you awake?” It was Ryan’s voice, hushed and soft and Mikey rolled over, pulling lifting the covers to look at his friend.
“Hey Ryan, is everything ok?”
Ryan shook his head, sighing. “Do you think I could... sleep with you tonight?”
Mikey nodded, shifting over in the bed, patting the space next to him. He could just about make out the smile Ryan made before he joined him under the covers, wrapping his arm around him. “Thanks Mikey.”
Mikey held him close, closing his eyes again and drifting off to sleep.
***
It was nice to wake up next to a warm body. The beds on tour buses weren’t really big enough for two people to fit comfortably. Sure it was doable, especially since Mikey had always been slim, but still it wasn’t ideal. When they they had hotel room nights Mikey was comfortable sharing a bed with whoever he was sharing the room with.
He stretched himself out on his bed, looking down at the sleeping form of Ryan. He looked so peaceful now, so settled. Mikey kissed his forehead gently.
He considered, not for the first time, contacting the others and asking for advice. He didn’t consider himself the best equipped to help Ryan deal with his feelings and yet Ryan had decided that he was the one to come to.
Ryan’s eyelids fluttered open and he met Mikey’s gaze. “Morning.” Mikey smiled down at him, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Morning.” Ryan yawned, stretching out on the bed beside him. “Thanks for yesterday. Just being here with someone helped. I think I’d have gone crazy if I was alone for any longer.”
“It’s ok.” Mikey nodded, reaching over and stroking Ryan’s hair. “I’m glad being here helped. You can stay as long as you need, if you think it’ll help.”
Ryan returned his smile, leaning into his touch. “I think so. You’re the best Mikey.” Mikey wasn’t sure about that, but he wasn’t about to argue the point. He shifted and Mikey could feel something against his hip. He raised an eyebrow and Ryan flushed. “Sorry, do you think you could...”
“It’s fine.” This was something Mikey was confident that he could do. He ducked down under the covers, parting Ryan’s legs and getting between them. His fingers worked on undoing Ryan’s pants, opening them up, feeling the curve of his erection. Ryan’s size was impressive, Mikey remembered commenting on it when he’d first seen it. He took a breath when he tugged his boxers down, freeing the length for his hungry eyes.
Mikey took ahold of him at the base, parting his lips and enveloping the head. “Fuck Mikey...” He reached down, fingers threading through Mikey’s hair, pushing him down onto his cock. Mikey hummed, going down on him, taking the entire shaft down his throat. Mikey was glad he had no gag reflex, fully aware that if he had one he’d be struggling right now. “How do you take it so.... fuck...”
Mikey hummed, twisting his tongue against Ryan’s heated skin as he started to bob on him. He moved up and down steadily, flicking his tongue and squeezing his lips as he did so. Every action he did made Ryan let out a moan. Mikey loved the sounds, loved knowing he was the one making them. He shifted his fingers to tug Ryan’s pants down more, so that he could run his fingertips over his full balls.
Sex was like making music in a lot of ways, it was all about setting up a rhythm. In a lot of ways the other person was like an instrument and you were playing them, whatever the act might be. Whether it was using fingers, mouth or a cock, it was down to you to use them in the right ways, to make the other person squirm and moan. At least that was how Mikey thought about it anyway.
He kept on sucking Ryan’s cock, using all the best tricks he knew, until he felt him squirm beneath him. Ryan’s fingers twitched against his head and he knew that meant he was close. Mikey hummed around him, moving back and focusing on the tip. “Mikey...” He gasped, voice breathy as he came into Mikey’s mouth. He savoured the salty taste of it, swallowing down everything that he had to give. “Shit... that was...”
Mikey smiled, pulling off him and tugging his boxers back up over his wet cock. He smithed up the bed, settling back alongside him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Yeah. You tasted good.”
Ryan blushed, smiling at him broad and bright. It was the first genuine smile since he’d arrived on Mikey’s doorstep. “Thanks Mikey. Do you need me to...”
Mikey shook his head, kissing his forehead. “Maybe later. I need to go piss and get some coffee. Do you want a cup?” Ryan blinked and it was clear he was a little dazed from his orgasm so Mikey grinned. “And by that I mean a cup of coffee, not piss.”
“Yeah, that sounds nice, thanks Mikey.” Ryan moved to sit up, reaching down under the covers to sort his pants out. As he did, Mikey slipped out of bed with a smile. Mikey might not be as comforting as Ray, but he was glad he had helped to make his friend feel better in his own way. Or at least start to anyway. He took one last look at Ryan’s still blissed out face before slipping out the room, pleased with himself.
Pairing: Mikey Way/Ryan Ross, referenced Brendon Urie/Spencer Smith and Ryan Ross/Spencer Smith
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Hurt/comfort
Notes: For
turps happy birthday! I hope you like this and have a awesome dayMikey settled into the sofa, letting out a soft sigh. He loved touring with the guys, playing on stage and meeting fans and all that went with that. The trouble was, though, that there wasn’t much space or time for yourself. Since he had some time off now he was able to get some much needed alone time, to rest and relax.
He grabbed the remote for the tv, flicking it on when his phone vibrated beside him, signally someone had sent him a text. The guys had insisted he put it on silent, or at least vibrate, due to the sheer volume of messages he often sent back and forth. He took ahold of it, bringing up the message to see who it was and what they wanted.
‘can I come over?’
It was from Ryan and Mikey smiled before quickly typing out a reply. ‘Sure, when do you want to?’ Ryan was a pretty nice guy and good company, so he’d not mind a visit from him. They’d met while touring and hung out a few times, even hooked up, so Mikey couldn’t help but wonder what he had in mind.
Over the next half an hour he kept glancing at his phone, expecting some kind of response but not getting anything. Mikey didn’t mind though, he did tend to reply right away, faster than most people usually expected. He flicked through the channels, before finally settling on watching something about cakes. It amazed him how bakers could use sugar, buttercream and icing to turn cakes into just about anything from animals to cruise ships. They were like works of art, so much so that it was almost a shame to cut them up and eat them. The bakers were just discussing how to make a guitar cake that could be played (which made him wonder if he could get them to do one for Ray) when he heard a knock on his front door.
Mikey frowned a little, but rose up from his seat anyway. “Coming!” He called out, though he wasn’t sure they’d hear him. He padded through the apartment, down the hall to the front door. He opened it a little to see who it was, then smiled and opened it further. “Hey Ryan! I didn’t expect to see you s...” he frowned when he saw Ryan’s face, how sad he looked. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He gestured for him to enter and Ryan slipped inside.
He’d paid him a visit before, at his housewarming, so he knew exactly where to go. Mikey followed him, watching as he sank down onto the sofa. It was only then that he spoke. “I’m not in Panic! anymore.”
“Wait, what?” Mikey blinked in surprise, before settling down beside him and turning the volume of the tv down. “Are you ok?”
Ryan shrugged slightly. “I was at lunch with Spencer the other week and it just... came up. Me and Brendon have been at odds for awhile now, he just wants to take things in a different direction.” He sighed, leaning back against the sofa. “It was mutual... but it feels like maybe he should have actually fought to keep us.”
“Us?” Mikey frowned slightly at that, reaching over to stroke his arm. “Did Spencer leave too?”
Ryan snorted and shook his head. “No, he stuck around with Brendon. It’s Jon that came with me.” He paused, turning to look at Mikey, he looked sad, frustrated. “He was my best friend Mikey, why couldn’t he stay with me? Where’s the fucking loyalty?”
Mikey could hear the bitter edge to his voice and he suspected there was more to it. He wasn’t exactly sure what to do or say to help his friend. Ray was better at this kind of thing, he had such a big heart and could connect to people better than Mikey ever could. Ray wasn’t here though, Mikey was.
“I’m sorry Ryan, I really am.” He reached over, wrapping an arm around him gently. “What can I do to help?”
Ryan looked at him and he got the impression that even he didn’t know what he wanted. “I don’t know Mikey. I want Spencer to come with us, but I know that he’s not interested in doing that. I just... I need to be with someone you know? Jon’s great but he’s... not the best at these things.”
Mikey nodded as if he knew what he meant. He didn’t know Jon all that well, so wasn’t sure what Ryan meant by that exactly. Mikey looked Ryan over trying to work out how exactly he wanted to be with someone. Did he just want company or did he want sex? Or maybe a mix of both? “Well I’m here for you. Would you like to watch something? I can make us something to eat...”
“No!” Ryan shook his head and smiled slightly. “I’ve heard what happens when you go into the kitchen, I’ve got no desire to die.”
He was right of course, Mikey wasn’t the safest person in the kitchen at the best of times, that’s why he usually just got stuff that he could just stick in the microwave or oven (although those had led to... incidents too). “I can order take out if you’d prefer?”
“Yeah. That’d be good.” Ryan returned his smile and looked through the options that Mikey handed to him. After his various kitchen disasters Mikey had made sure to get all the pamphlets from the nearest take out places that did delivers just in case guests didn’t want to risk his cooking. While he did that he went over to his dvd collection, picking out a few things that might serve as a good distraction for Ryan (but weren’t gory enough to put him off his food). Hopefully they would help.
At least that was the plan.
Ryan was looking at him over the pamphlets in his hand, biting his lip and looking too serious for someone that should be contemplating food. “Have you ever been in love?”
Mikey considered the question for a moment. He’d had relationships before, sure. That thing with Frank when they lived together, that summer with Pete but neither felt like that were... love. Not true, deep love, like how it’s made out to be in movies. The closest thing he had to that was Gerard and that was complicated. Special. Theirs. “I’m not sure I have.” He looked over at Ryan and a wave of realisation rolled over him. “You loved him, didn’t you?”
Ryan looked away for him, then nodded. It took him a few more moments before he spoke, his voice soft. “Yeah.”
Of course he did, shit. Mikey returned to sit beside him, reaching over to stroke his side. “I’m sorry. Were you... together?” He hadn’t heard anything about it, but they could have kept it secret. Especially from Pete since he was a fucking blabbermouth.
“No. Fuck...” Ryan shook his head, sighing softly. “We’d fooled around a few times but I never admitted to him how I felt. It just, fuck, it never felt like the right time to tell him.”
Mikey considered what he should say in response, wishing again that Ray was here to give him words of advice and comfort. “Just because he’s staying to be in band with Brendon doesn’t mean...”
Ryan snorted in derision, looking up at the ceiling. “But it does. He’s not just staying with Brendon out of loyalty or some shit like that.” When Ryan’s eyes met Mikey’s they were shiny and Mikey knew what that meant even before he said it. “He’s dating Brendon. He’d never even told me. I’m supposed to be his best friend and yet he kept that from me. He only bothered to tell me when I bought up leaving.”
“Shit... Ryan I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks...” Ryan sighed, shaking his head and wiping tears away from his eyes. “I’m sorry, I was meant to be picking food...”
“Hey it’s ok. Don’t worry about it.” Mikey offered him a small smile, pulling him into a hug. “I’ll order us some pizza and then we can watch something if you want.”
Ryan smiled a little when Mikey broke away from the hug, nodding. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Thanks Mikey.” Mikey took ahold of his phone and the pizza menu. He just hoped that it would help take his mind off things.
***
Mikey considered the day a success. They‘d watched a few things over pizza and shared some Ben and Jerry’s, which all seemed to have helped. He’d said goodnight to Ryan a few minutes ago and he’d took Mikey’s offer to stay in the spare room.
It hadn’t been how he’d expected to spend the day, but all things considered it hasn’t been a bad day. Mikey curled up under the soft covers of his bed, closing his eyes and preparing to settle down to sleep.
“Mikey, are you awake?” It was Ryan’s voice, hushed and soft and Mikey rolled over, pulling lifting the covers to look at his friend.
“Hey Ryan, is everything ok?”
Ryan shook his head, sighing. “Do you think I could... sleep with you tonight?”
Mikey nodded, shifting over in the bed, patting the space next to him. He could just about make out the smile Ryan made before he joined him under the covers, wrapping his arm around him. “Thanks Mikey.”
Mikey held him close, closing his eyes again and drifting off to sleep.
***
It was nice to wake up next to a warm body. The beds on tour buses weren’t really big enough for two people to fit comfortably. Sure it was doable, especially since Mikey had always been slim, but still it wasn’t ideal. When they they had hotel room nights Mikey was comfortable sharing a bed with whoever he was sharing the room with.
He stretched himself out on his bed, looking down at the sleeping form of Ryan. He looked so peaceful now, so settled. Mikey kissed his forehead gently.
He considered, not for the first time, contacting the others and asking for advice. He didn’t consider himself the best equipped to help Ryan deal with his feelings and yet Ryan had decided that he was the one to come to.
Ryan’s eyelids fluttered open and he met Mikey’s gaze. “Morning.” Mikey smiled down at him, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Morning.” Ryan yawned, stretching out on the bed beside him. “Thanks for yesterday. Just being here with someone helped. I think I’d have gone crazy if I was alone for any longer.”
“It’s ok.” Mikey nodded, reaching over and stroking Ryan’s hair. “I’m glad being here helped. You can stay as long as you need, if you think it’ll help.”
Ryan returned his smile, leaning into his touch. “I think so. You’re the best Mikey.” Mikey wasn’t sure about that, but he wasn’t about to argue the point. He shifted and Mikey could feel something against his hip. He raised an eyebrow and Ryan flushed. “Sorry, do you think you could...”
“It’s fine.” This was something Mikey was confident that he could do. He ducked down under the covers, parting Ryan’s legs and getting between them. His fingers worked on undoing Ryan’s pants, opening them up, feeling the curve of his erection. Ryan’s size was impressive, Mikey remembered commenting on it when he’d first seen it. He took a breath when he tugged his boxers down, freeing the length for his hungry eyes.
Mikey took ahold of him at the base, parting his lips and enveloping the head. “Fuck Mikey...” He reached down, fingers threading through Mikey’s hair, pushing him down onto his cock. Mikey hummed, going down on him, taking the entire shaft down his throat. Mikey was glad he had no gag reflex, fully aware that if he had one he’d be struggling right now. “How do you take it so.... fuck...”
Mikey hummed, twisting his tongue against Ryan’s heated skin as he started to bob on him. He moved up and down steadily, flicking his tongue and squeezing his lips as he did so. Every action he did made Ryan let out a moan. Mikey loved the sounds, loved knowing he was the one making them. He shifted his fingers to tug Ryan’s pants down more, so that he could run his fingertips over his full balls.
Sex was like making music in a lot of ways, it was all about setting up a rhythm. In a lot of ways the other person was like an instrument and you were playing them, whatever the act might be. Whether it was using fingers, mouth or a cock, it was down to you to use them in the right ways, to make the other person squirm and moan. At least that was how Mikey thought about it anyway.
He kept on sucking Ryan’s cock, using all the best tricks he knew, until he felt him squirm beneath him. Ryan’s fingers twitched against his head and he knew that meant he was close. Mikey hummed around him, moving back and focusing on the tip. “Mikey...” He gasped, voice breathy as he came into Mikey’s mouth. He savoured the salty taste of it, swallowing down everything that he had to give. “Shit... that was...”
Mikey smiled, pulling off him and tugging his boxers back up over his wet cock. He smithed up the bed, settling back alongside him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Yeah. You tasted good.”
Ryan blushed, smiling at him broad and bright. It was the first genuine smile since he’d arrived on Mikey’s doorstep. “Thanks Mikey. Do you need me to...”
Mikey shook his head, kissing his forehead. “Maybe later. I need to go piss and get some coffee. Do you want a cup?” Ryan blinked and it was clear he was a little dazed from his orgasm so Mikey grinned. “And by that I mean a cup of coffee, not piss.”
“Yeah, that sounds nice, thanks Mikey.” Ryan moved to sit up, reaching down under the covers to sort his pants out. As he did, Mikey slipped out of bed with a smile. Mikey might not be as comforting as Ray, but he was glad he had helped to make his friend feel better in his own way. Or at least start to anyway. He took one last look at Ryan’s still blissed out face before slipping out the room, pleased with himself.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-18 09:10 am (UTC)And you put in so many things that I love, the nod to Mikey/Frank and Mikey/Pete, and Ryan being in love with Spencer and the angst of him leaving Panic.
I really don't have the words to say how much I do love this. And considering how relatively shortly we've been friends it's amazing how many of my loves you did manage to include.
You always write good sex scenes, but the emotional ones in this were stand out, Ryan's confession and his pain at leaving the band is so obvious and powerful.
Sorry, I'm rambling because I knew I'd love this as soon as I saw your post, but didn't realise just how much I'd love it.
Thank you, it means the world that you took time to write something so perfect for me ♥
no subject
Date: 2019-02-18 09:53 am (UTC)Yeah I figured I should put those in, because it felt right (seriously as soon as I had the idea of Ryan asking Mikey that it felt perfect)
I’m just glad you liked it so much, Especially since I’m not used to writing hurt/comfort stuff. But you’ve been so good to me in the short time we’ve known each other 💜 I’m glad I managed to pick up on so many of them!
That’s so sweet of you to say. I feel much less confident writing emotional stuff so I’m glad it worked out.
Rambling is always awesome, I love rambling comments trust me! 💜 I’m so glad that you loved it, happy birthday!
It’s ok, thank you for being so sweet and awesome these past months, you’ve been the best. 🖤