After The Moment
Apr. 7th, 2019 02:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowhiveAfter The Moment
Pairing: Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, suicidal thoughts, Avengers crossover
Notes: I blame the discord for mentioning Infinity War.
”You’re my e-everything K-Klaus.” Diego smiled, his hand cupping Klaus cheek, gently stroking his face. “I love you.” He leaned in, their lips meeting for the first time. It was simultaneously the best and worst moment of Klaus’ life.
Klaus reached under his bed, feeling around for board he knew was there. He’d not used it for years, since his ‘father’ had first gotten it for him when he realised what his powers were. After a few moments of frantic searching he pulled out the ouija board, hastily wiping the dust off the wooden surface. The planchette, was still attached to it, by the cord their mom had used to make sure he’d never lose it.
“Ok. Let’s give this a try.”
He sat on the floor, cross legged with the board in front of him, his fingers on the planchette. “Come on Diego. Talk to me. Please...” He reached out, trying desperately to make contact with the man he loved. Nothing. He took a breath, trying to change tack, just in case it was his emotion that was making it harder. “Allison?” Nothing. “Vanya? Five?” Still nothing. “Luther?”
He growled, feeling irritation at his powers failing him again. He could be haunted and terrified by the ghosts of strangers but trying to contact the ones he loved? Impossible. Apart from Ben, who even now was a constant presence. “Come on you fucking assholes! Why aren’t you talking to me?”
Klaus shook his head, standing up and clutching the board tightly to his chest. Diego’s sweater was soft against his skin, practically drowning him but he didn’t care.
“Klaus...”
“Shut up Ben!” Klaus hissed, clutching the board tight as he left the room, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.
”I love you.”
The three words he’d longed to hear since they were teenagers, playing over and over in his head like a curse.
Klaus shut the door to Diego’s room, moving to sit on his bed, pulling his legs under him. He set the board down across the sheets, placing his fingers on the wood of the planchette. “Diego please, talk to me. I need you.” Klaus didn’t care how desperate he sounded. His power was seeing the dead, talking to them. So why wasn’t it letting him summon Diego? He was clean had been few months but even so... nothing.
He’d spent the last few days frantically trying everything he could to summon him, to bring him back. He wanted to tell him how much he loved him, fuck he’d never said it back. Why had he wasted so much of his life when he could have spent it with him?
“Please Diego. I love you. Don’t do this to me.” Why wasn’t he here? He should be, he had to be. Diego should be like Ben, a constant reassuring presence. Even if they couldn’t touch he could at least talk to him. Could at least help keep him sane. “Please. I need you.” Tears started to track down his cheeks, like they had near constantly since this had happened, since the man he loved turned to dust in his arms.
Nothing.
The only ghost here was Ben, watching quietly, eyes on the ground.
“Fuck this.” Klaus picked up the board, throwing it at the wall. It landed on the floor with a dull thud, not even making it half way there. Fuck he couldn’t even throw right. He groaned and then his eyes caught sight of Diego’s harness, the glint of the knives.
“Well if you won’t come to me then I guess I’ll come to you...” He reached for it but he never got the chance, Ben pulling the harness out of his reach. “Fuck you Ben!”
“Klaus please...”
“Give me the knives. Let me be with him or I’ll banish you forever!” He tried to lace his words with venom but his voice was too broken, too wrecked from crying. They both knew he’d never do that, would never lose the connection to the last sibling he had.
“Listen to me, it won’t do you any good ok? Please believe me.”
Klaus shook his head fiercely, crying even more openly. “How can you say that? They’re in... wherever the fuck you’re meant to go. The afterlife, heaven, let me go there. We can all be together again. A family again. The way we should be.”
Ben looked away, looking pained and stricken. “Klaus... they’re not there.”
Klaus blinked, processing the words slowly, turning them around in his head as if that would make the meaning of them clear. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know where they are, but they’re not... there. I don’t know know where they are, no one knows.” Ben paused, meeting his eyes so that Klaus could see they were shiny too. “If you kill yourself it would just be the two of us. Forever.”
Klaus screamed, in a way he hadn’t since Diego had turned to dust right before his eyes.
***
”I love you.”
“Klaus, Klaus don’t do this.” Ben was pleading with him as Klaus walked down the street, his jacket pulled close to his slim body. He wasn’t alone in his despair, everyone he walked passed seemed to have dead eyes. The streets, he’d noticed, were much quieter now.
Half the population of the planet had gone in an instant. That’s what he had heard anyway. In practice though more had died than that due to accidents. Cars crashing, helicopters spiralling out of the sky, boats smashing into the docks. The lose of life would have been overwhelming if he could contact them.
But he couldn’t. None of them were there.
“You’ve been doing so well. They wouldn’t want this. He wouldn’t want this. Die...”
“Don’t you say his name!” Klaus growled glaring at his brother. No one reacted to a man shouting at nothing. Klaus traced pulled his coat closer, his fingers catching on Diego’s sweater that was underneath, which he had worn every day since he had gone. It didn’t even smell of him anymore, just of tears and desperation.
Klaus turned into the alley, relieved at the sight of the man who stood there. “Finally.” He muttered to himself as he approached, glad to finally find a dealer that was still around.
“Klaus please, don’t...”
“Hey Klaus.” The man smiled at him, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He wasn’t sure he’d seen anyone truly smile since this happened, even his mom. “What can I get you?”
“Everything you have.” The man looked at him sceptically and Klaus reached into his jacket, pulling out a wad of fifty dollar bills he’d found at the house. The man’s eyes went wide and he nodded, holding open his jacket and pulling out bags of powder and pills of various sizes. Klaus snatched them all, stuffing his pockets until they were full to bursting and slapping the cash into his hand. “Keep the rest.”
“Please don’t do this Klaus.” Ben tried again, his plea falling on deaf ears like they had so many times over the years. Klaus just wanted to forget his pain, to feel something other that the bone deep numbness.
”I love you.”
As he stepped away from the dealer tore open one of the bags, popping both of the pills within into his mouth. He didn’t know what they were, didn’t really care either. One advantage to being like this, to being this weak was that Ben couldn’t stop him like he did before. Klaus laughed, sounding hollow as Ben’s hand went straight through his face. He locked eyes with his brother as he swallowed them down, hoping that they would take hold before he got to the boiler room he now called home.
Hopefully they would succeed at dulling the three words that haunted him and if not... well, one of the other drugs surely would do the trick.
”I love you.”
Pairing: Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, suicidal thoughts, Avengers crossover
Notes: I blame the discord for mentioning Infinity War.
”You’re my e-everything K-Klaus.” Diego smiled, his hand cupping Klaus cheek, gently stroking his face. “I love you.” He leaned in, their lips meeting for the first time. It was simultaneously the best and worst moment of Klaus’ life.
Klaus reached under his bed, feeling around for board he knew was there. He’d not used it for years, since his ‘father’ had first gotten it for him when he realised what his powers were. After a few moments of frantic searching he pulled out the ouija board, hastily wiping the dust off the wooden surface. The planchette, was still attached to it, by the cord their mom had used to make sure he’d never lose it.
“Ok. Let’s give this a try.”
He sat on the floor, cross legged with the board in front of him, his fingers on the planchette. “Come on Diego. Talk to me. Please...” He reached out, trying desperately to make contact with the man he loved. Nothing. He took a breath, trying to change tack, just in case it was his emotion that was making it harder. “Allison?” Nothing. “Vanya? Five?” Still nothing. “Luther?”
He growled, feeling irritation at his powers failing him again. He could be haunted and terrified by the ghosts of strangers but trying to contact the ones he loved? Impossible. Apart from Ben, who even now was a constant presence. “Come on you fucking assholes! Why aren’t you talking to me?”
Klaus shook his head, standing up and clutching the board tightly to his chest. Diego’s sweater was soft against his skin, practically drowning him but he didn’t care.
“Klaus...”
“Shut up Ben!” Klaus hissed, clutching the board tight as he left the room, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.
”I love you.”
The three words he’d longed to hear since they were teenagers, playing over and over in his head like a curse.
Klaus shut the door to Diego’s room, moving to sit on his bed, pulling his legs under him. He set the board down across the sheets, placing his fingers on the wood of the planchette. “Diego please, talk to me. I need you.” Klaus didn’t care how desperate he sounded. His power was seeing the dead, talking to them. So why wasn’t it letting him summon Diego? He was clean had been few months but even so... nothing.
He’d spent the last few days frantically trying everything he could to summon him, to bring him back. He wanted to tell him how much he loved him, fuck he’d never said it back. Why had he wasted so much of his life when he could have spent it with him?
“Please Diego. I love you. Don’t do this to me.” Why wasn’t he here? He should be, he had to be. Diego should be like Ben, a constant reassuring presence. Even if they couldn’t touch he could at least talk to him. Could at least help keep him sane. “Please. I need you.” Tears started to track down his cheeks, like they had near constantly since this had happened, since the man he loved turned to dust in his arms.
Nothing.
The only ghost here was Ben, watching quietly, eyes on the ground.
“Fuck this.” Klaus picked up the board, throwing it at the wall. It landed on the floor with a dull thud, not even making it half way there. Fuck he couldn’t even throw right. He groaned and then his eyes caught sight of Diego’s harness, the glint of the knives.
“Well if you won’t come to me then I guess I’ll come to you...” He reached for it but he never got the chance, Ben pulling the harness out of his reach. “Fuck you Ben!”
“Klaus please...”
“Give me the knives. Let me be with him or I’ll banish you forever!” He tried to lace his words with venom but his voice was too broken, too wrecked from crying. They both knew he’d never do that, would never lose the connection to the last sibling he had.
“Listen to me, it won’t do you any good ok? Please believe me.”
Klaus shook his head fiercely, crying even more openly. “How can you say that? They’re in... wherever the fuck you’re meant to go. The afterlife, heaven, let me go there. We can all be together again. A family again. The way we should be.”
Ben looked away, looking pained and stricken. “Klaus... they’re not there.”
Klaus blinked, processing the words slowly, turning them around in his head as if that would make the meaning of them clear. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know where they are, but they’re not... there. I don’t know know where they are, no one knows.” Ben paused, meeting his eyes so that Klaus could see they were shiny too. “If you kill yourself it would just be the two of us. Forever.”
Klaus screamed, in a way he hadn’t since Diego had turned to dust right before his eyes.
***
”I love you.”
“Klaus, Klaus don’t do this.” Ben was pleading with him as Klaus walked down the street, his jacket pulled close to his slim body. He wasn’t alone in his despair, everyone he walked passed seemed to have dead eyes. The streets, he’d noticed, were much quieter now.
Half the population of the planet had gone in an instant. That’s what he had heard anyway. In practice though more had died than that due to accidents. Cars crashing, helicopters spiralling out of the sky, boats smashing into the docks. The lose of life would have been overwhelming if he could contact them.
But he couldn’t. None of them were there.
“You’ve been doing so well. They wouldn’t want this. He wouldn’t want this. Die...”
“Don’t you say his name!” Klaus growled glaring at his brother. No one reacted to a man shouting at nothing. Klaus traced pulled his coat closer, his fingers catching on Diego’s sweater that was underneath, which he had worn every day since he had gone. It didn’t even smell of him anymore, just of tears and desperation.
Klaus turned into the alley, relieved at the sight of the man who stood there. “Finally.” He muttered to himself as he approached, glad to finally find a dealer that was still around.
“Klaus please, don’t...”
“Hey Klaus.” The man smiled at him, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He wasn’t sure he’d seen anyone truly smile since this happened, even his mom. “What can I get you?”
“Everything you have.” The man looked at him sceptically and Klaus reached into his jacket, pulling out a wad of fifty dollar bills he’d found at the house. The man’s eyes went wide and he nodded, holding open his jacket and pulling out bags of powder and pills of various sizes. Klaus snatched them all, stuffing his pockets until they were full to bursting and slapping the cash into his hand. “Keep the rest.”
“Please don’t do this Klaus.” Ben tried again, his plea falling on deaf ears like they had so many times over the years. Klaus just wanted to forget his pain, to feel something other that the bone deep numbness.
”I love you.”
As he stepped away from the dealer tore open one of the bags, popping both of the pills within into his mouth. He didn’t know what they were, didn’t really care either. One advantage to being like this, to being this weak was that Ben couldn’t stop him like he did before. Klaus laughed, sounding hollow as Ben’s hand went straight through his face. He locked eyes with his brother as he swallowed them down, hoping that they would take hold before he got to the boiler room he now called home.
Hopefully they would succeed at dulling the three words that haunted him and if not... well, one of the other drugs surely would do the trick.
”I love you.”
no subject
Date: 2019-04-19 12:43 pm (UTC)Klaus thinking they're dead, but they're not really dead at all, just gone, must be the ultimate head fuck for him.
No wonder he wants to use any means to forget.
no subject
Date: 2019-04-19 12:46 pm (UTC)Yeah, absolutely. That must make it a million times worse
I’ve said after Endgame I might do a follow up, obviously depending on how things get resolved