Now my energy’s depleted
Oct. 19th, 2024 08:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowhiveI meant to do a further update (and a post) yesterday but my mood and energy just fluctuated so much.
The stress started again in the morning when we had a letter from the hospital. It was identical to one I got Thursday morning and it must have been sent after the first call Wednesday cause it had the date and time of the appointment mentioned then. Of course having the letter come twice made me panic a bit so we had to call and confirm that yes, it was cancelled and I didn’t need to go Monday, so that was good.
But the day was just so low energy as a whole, probably as a recovery from the stress.
Then, late in the afternoon, I had a call from the doctor. She’d seen the results of the test and, good news, it’s not cancer. She did say what it was instead but honestly I didn’t process it due to the relief. She said she’s gonna sent some into on what it is, so when that comes I’ll be able to name it and know if it’s gonna be a problem.
She also says they might wanna see me in future to do another check but didn’t say when.
And while it’s all a relief to know it’s not the worst thing it could be it’s still… I dunno. There’s still things in the back of my mind. Like when we called the hospital they said there’d be a meeting about the tests Wednesday (and the hospital would call after that) but why would they need to do that if they already know what it is? Could that mean the results the doctor saw were actually early ones and not fully accurate? And what if what the thing actually is is something I should worry about (but isn’t because it’s something I’d not heard of?) maybe I’m just overthinking as I’m prone to do but… I dunno.
The rest of the day was a weird mix of relief, coupled with overthinking, random bursts of sad (continuing from the past few days) and then a span of creativity that led me to actually finish a fic. I also did a little to another so I might get back to it soon.
Today my energy has continued to be low and my focus is off a bit, but I hope the creativity comes back.
I’m gonna watch something in a bit (it depends if Seapeekay does a spooky game, if not then the original Blair Witch is on tv). Then it’s sleeping until my birthday and hoping my energy isn’t crashed for then.
Monday I might finally get back to Echoes Of Wisdom and hopefully next week I can get back to mroe spooky stuff, but we’ll see.
The stress started again in the morning when we had a letter from the hospital. It was identical to one I got Thursday morning and it must have been sent after the first call Wednesday cause it had the date and time of the appointment mentioned then. Of course having the letter come twice made me panic a bit so we had to call and confirm that yes, it was cancelled and I didn’t need to go Monday, so that was good.
But the day was just so low energy as a whole, probably as a recovery from the stress.
Then, late in the afternoon, I had a call from the doctor. She’d seen the results of the test and, good news, it’s not cancer. She did say what it was instead but honestly I didn’t process it due to the relief. She said she’s gonna sent some into on what it is, so when that comes I’ll be able to name it and know if it’s gonna be a problem.
She also says they might wanna see me in future to do another check but didn’t say when.
And while it’s all a relief to know it’s not the worst thing it could be it’s still… I dunno. There’s still things in the back of my mind. Like when we called the hospital they said there’d be a meeting about the tests Wednesday (and the hospital would call after that) but why would they need to do that if they already know what it is? Could that mean the results the doctor saw were actually early ones and not fully accurate? And what if what the thing actually is is something I should worry about (but isn’t because it’s something I’d not heard of?) maybe I’m just overthinking as I’m prone to do but… I dunno.
The rest of the day was a weird mix of relief, coupled with overthinking, random bursts of sad (continuing from the past few days) and then a span of creativity that led me to actually finish a fic. I also did a little to another so I might get back to it soon.
Today my energy has continued to be low and my focus is off a bit, but I hope the creativity comes back.
I’m gonna watch something in a bit (it depends if Seapeekay does a spooky game, if not then the original Blair Witch is on tv). Then it’s sleeping until my birthday and hoping my energy isn’t crashed for then.
Monday I might finally get back to Echoes Of Wisdom and hopefully next week I can get back to mroe spooky stuff, but we’ll see.
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