Let the past die

Yesterday was an odd day.

Mostly because a downswing threatened around the edges again, which tends to make my mind drift and hyperfixate again. Fuck. I think it didn’t help that I didn’t have a fic that I could use to distract myself with (after finishing the last one I dunno what to do).

I ended up reading some of the stuff at orgasmsandwoe yesterday, because ngh, there was MCR gaining stuff and it was just great (although it made me want more). Thanks Aka for linking me to that.

Last night my mind was still all over the place so I couldn’t focus on anything. (It didn’t help that instead of Insert Name Here there was more brexit nonsense, ugh).:I ended up on the Xbox, scrolling through games for like, 20 minutes before eventually settling on something. I settled on Planet Alpha, which I won from one of the Id@xbox streams. The game itself is pretty but a little... boring? And annoying. It made me think of planet of eyes, since it’s just linear walking around and stuff (although alpha has harder sections and lacks the audio things eyes has so nothing has context).

After that I ended up watching QI on Netflix (since I didn’t feel like watching anything new) and QI is good because I can just close my eyes and listen. (Although that sometimes, like last night, means I drift off.) I felt better after the doze, hauling myself up to bed when I woke.

I made a decision last night that I’d get rid of the few icons that I had left of TK, because they wouldn’t get used, they were a reminder of the friend I lost and it would free up space for new icons. So I did that this morning, freeing up (and then filling) up the space. So now I have a few more Star Wars icons, an icon for Discovery and a Palaye one. I’m gonna save one space until Umbrella Academy cause I want an icon of Klaus and I’m certain that there’ll be a pic I like more released before then.

Before I did my icons I did the next Night Vale relisten, but it seems the Good Morning Night Vale ep for it isn’t up yet today. I ended up doing my uni reading after upcoming but ugh. Mum was a pain. She’s had her eye on lulu Guinness stuff because of the sale, but I’ve tried my best to dissuade her from it because the money simply isn’t there (and she’d not use the damn things). Today though they had an extra 10% off so I had to humour her and try. Thankfully PayPal doesn’t seem to have pay after delivery for it so she won’t be able to get the bag, but I may get her the purse just to shut her up about it.

(If pay after delivery had been an option it woulda meant going to Palaye would be completely off the table so thank fuck it hasn’t.)

Thankfully her walking Naryu seems to have managed her expectations and made her see a bit of sense.

Also last night I went on tumblr and there’s an option to look at what was flagged as adult, so I looked out of interest. Stuff that was flagged: a homoemo pic I posted ages ago (which, ok it is porn but that was an eternity ago wtf), the pics Moose posted on Jay’s account (which included a dick so, yeah makes sense), topless band boys (which, you know, don’t have female presenting nipples), a photo from a band’s merch (...) and pics of me holding a stuck insect (???). Tumblr is fucking weird. I appealed most of them and, thankfully they have been unflagged, the topless ones anyway (and last two).

Ugh tumblr.

I’ve updated the fic writing post and I probably will more too.

Anyway. I should get ready now. Naryu is gonna have her cut at 12, so I’m gonna be going with her and staying with her, but I’ll be back for the rest of the day.

I might do a proper about me post, since I’ve had people add me during snowflake and such (plus the friending meme on snowflake was yesterday and I have a new person from it).

This may call from a proper introduction

So due to snowflake and such I’ve gained new people, hi! I’m not sure if I’ve done an intro post but this feels a good a time as any. (Although I may have done one, I’m not sure now.)

So I’m Shadowhive, but you can call me Stuie if you want. I’m 32, I live in the Uk and I’m a student with the open university. That means I work from home, which is good, but means I don’t interact with people (which is good/bad). I’m not a people person really. I get shy or rambly around them. I’m pan and, currently, single.

I have pets, a guinea pig called Padme, two cats, Leia and Midna and a puppy called Naryu. As you can guess from those I’m pretty geeky. Star Wars and Zelda are my big loves though I love pretty much all sci-fi: Star Trek, Farscape, Doctor Who, Babylon 5.

I write slash, mostly for bands. Mostly it is porn stuff. Currently I’m stuck in an My Chemical Romance hole, oops. My ships are all over the place, but I love anything with Ray Toro (or any band that has hot brothers).

I have depression and anxiety, so I have downswings from time to time. The severity of these varies. When I get into these moods I usually post here to vent, which sometimes helps. I tend to get hyperfixated on bad things at those times. Those posts are locked.

Currently my older posts and fic are locked too, I may unlock them it depends.

So I mostly post fics, or general rambles about my day. I sometimes post reviews or thoughts on things too. I’m gonna be making posts every week once Star Trek Discovery and Umbrella Academy starts. I am super hyped for them both, but especially Umbrella Academy. I also started doing picspam/question posts last month, though I dunno when the next one will be.

Other places where I am are in my profile. I’m mostly on here or twitter. I’m working on posting stuff some more on ao3.

What else?

I’m a gamer. I’m currently working my way through Assassin’s Creed Odyssey (though I may pause that due to stupidity) and Elder Scrolls Online (always). I play mainly on the Xbox, though I also have a Switch (which I need to go on more). Feel free to add me on either!

Current fixations are MCR, Palaye Royale and Coheed And Cambria.

Bands I like: Black Veil Brides, Bullet For My Valentine, Coheed And Cambria, Fightstar, Funeral For A Friend, Funeral Shakes, Good Charlotte, Madina Lake, Motionless In White, My Chemical Romance, Palaye Royale, The Blackout, The New Regime, The Used, Tokio Hotel
Tv I like: Babylon Five, Black Butler, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Doctor Who, Farscape, Futurama, Lucifer, QI, Star Trek (Discovery, DS9, TNG, Voyager), Star Wars Clone Wars, Star Wars Rebels, Star Wars Resistance, Stargate Atlantis, Supergirl, Taskmaster, The Dragon Prince, The Good Place, The Flash, The X-Files, Torchwood
Films I like: Big Hero Six, Bleach, Harry Potter, Mamma Mia, MCU, Nightmare Before Christmas, Resident Evil, Star Wars, The Lego Movie
Games I love: Animal Crossing, Pokemon, Super Smash Brothers, The Elder Scrolls Online, The Legend Of Zelda

(That list is far from definitive I’m sure I’ve missed some obvious stuff)

If there’s anything else you guys wanna know hit me up. Like I said, I’m sure I’ve missed some real obvious stuff.

My current fic request post and fic master list are both sticky posted on my dreamwidth main page. I also have a post for prompts I’d like here

So come one come all

So for the last few days I’ve been feeling a bit iffy, because depression has been trying to be a bitch (though I have fended it off).

And then, ahh! mcfobr posted me a fic and it’s so awesome! Everyone go read because it’s just ngh. I’m super super grateful for it! Thank you!

Come One, Come All (1749 words) by MyChemicalFallOutBoyRomance
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: My Chemical Romance
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Ray Toro/Mikey Way, Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Characters: Frank Iero, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Ray Toro, Bob Bryar
Additional Tags: Rikey, Frerard, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay Sex, Frottage, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Shameless Smut, Dom/sub Undertones, auralism, One Shot, Established Relationship, Black Parade Era, The Black Parade, Black Parade Tour, Touring, Band Fic
Summary:

Waiting to go on stage is dull. Sometimes you’ve gotta make your own entertainment!