The March Distraction
Mar. 31st, 2019 04:00 amSo it’s now several hours after midnight, which means it’s the 31st of March. That means it’s almost, to quote Majora’s Mask, dawn of the final day.
In the lead up to March I was so worried. As the one year anniversary of being fucked over by people I considered friends (one of which I considered as one of my best friends), I was nervous. I was certain that one of several things would happen.
First I was sure my depression/anxiety would become overwhelming. I suspected that, on the anniversaries themselves at least, I would lose myself. That I would descend into my pattern of other thinking that is common place for my depression. Thankfully, bar a blip the other week, that didn’t happen.
The second main one was I was expecting River (or someone else encouraged by Marina) to launch their attacks on me again, or aim them at my friends. Thankfully that didn’t happen either.
I approached this month fully prepared for the worst so how do I feel now it’s almost over?
I feel like I’m in a better space now then I’ve ever been. I credit two things for it.
The first is![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mcfobr, for two reasons. The first being sending me the March distraction, a package full of gifts and messages, like a random advent calendar. It was so sweet and thoughtful, and kind, because it took so much effort to do. And it worked, it worked so well by giving me something to look forward to daily, though I’ll certainly miss it.
The second reason is she has been such a good friend to me, the kind that I wish I’d had for years. She has been so sweet and so very present during this time.
Second is the Kliego discord and TUA fandom in general for providing me with inspiration, distraction and the motivation to keep writing again. I’m so grateful for that, more than words can say.
I’m gonna try and sleep now, but it felt like those things needed to be said.
I might make a post later, rambling about Discovery or my Fortitude rewatch but I sense I’ll just end up watching season 2 to enjoy Robert Sheehan naked and bloody.
In the lead up to March I was so worried. As the one year anniversary of being fucked over by people I considered friends (one of which I considered as one of my best friends), I was nervous. I was certain that one of several things would happen.
First I was sure my depression/anxiety would become overwhelming. I suspected that, on the anniversaries themselves at least, I would lose myself. That I would descend into my pattern of other thinking that is common place for my depression. Thankfully, bar a blip the other week, that didn’t happen.
The second main one was I was expecting River (or someone else encouraged by Marina) to launch their attacks on me again, or aim them at my friends. Thankfully that didn’t happen either.
I approached this month fully prepared for the worst so how do I feel now it’s almost over?
I feel like I’m in a better space now then I’ve ever been. I credit two things for it.
The first is
mcfobr, for two reasons. The first being sending me the March distraction, a package full of gifts and messages, like a random advent calendar. It was so sweet and thoughtful, and kind, because it took so much effort to do. And it worked, it worked so well by giving me something to look forward to daily, though I’ll certainly miss it.The second reason is she has been such a good friend to me, the kind that I wish I’d had for years. She has been so sweet and so very present during this time.
Second is the Kliego discord and TUA fandom in general for providing me with inspiration, distraction and the motivation to keep writing again. I’m so grateful for that, more than words can say.
I’m gonna try and sleep now, but it felt like those things needed to be said.
I might make a post later, rambling about Discovery or my Fortitude rewatch but I sense I’ll just end up watching season 2 to enjoy Robert Sheehan naked and bloody.
