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Apr. 1st, 2025 06:12 pmSo the intent of the next post I was gonna do (unless I finish fic first) was to do a ‘here are some positive things coming in April!’ But, of course that’s not what this post is gonna be, there might be in the next one,
The weekend was ok, even though I didn’t do anything too interesting.
But then Sunday, ugh my head felt a bit fun. At first I thought it was just causa stress but then it turned out not to be just a stress headache, because I was in the bathroom all night. Thankfully it wasn’t as bad as the time in December but… ugh.
At about 7 I crawled (literally) out of the bathroom to get my phone, to message that I felt like I’d be in no fit state to come to today’s appointment because, well I’d spent the last 7 hours in the bathroom and knew I’d have no energy.
The rest of yesterday was… eh.
I was drained but couldn’t settle and stressed cause, yeah the last payment hadn’t gone through and I had no reply to my message. Then mum’s friend called and there was some issue with her bag and she expected us to know how to sort it (it seems cause it paid for on one of our cards it has to be one of us that sorts it) whcih additional nonsense.
Eventually I did go to bed and crashed out till this morning.
I woke and felt slightly better but still felt too dizzy to really do anything so I just stayed lying down. Eventually I checked my mail and a message had come in response and it was just… the language used was just appalling. No ‘don’t come if you’re sick’, no reassurance, nothing about not worrying. Just ‘this is mandatory appointment’ ‘your reasoning will be assessed by a decision maker’ and ‘you will lose money if they decide it’s not good enough’. Of course this wasn’t good I didn’t feel up to going, I didn’t feel safe to go. As soon as mum got back her response? To go insist I go and go with me.
(I found out her reasoning was that someone her colleague saw was sectioned and even that wasn’t considered a ‘good reason’ for missing an appointment)
Cue us going on the bus, with a £6 ticket and being unsteady on my feet the whole time I was on there. Only to get there and, when the meeting happens it is…. Two questions. Questions which could have EASILY been answered on the phone but no it required me dragged in person. Beforehand I’d even made a list of notes about the last year but none of them were even relevant.
For the record the two questions were: do you want us to give you extra ‘support’? (Followed by her saying I think I know the answer) and ‘is morning or afternoon good for the next appointment?’.
(Said next appointment is a video call so at least I don’t have to go needless play but for fucks sake,)
To say I’m pissed would be an understatement. If I was well I’d probably have laughed it off and at least picked up some headache meds and some food. As it was it felt like a waste of time and stress, as well as a waste of £6 to go.
Ugh just thinking about it is making me pissed.
When I came back I felt at least able to eat (I’d not eaten in over 36 hours by this point) and I am feeling a little better now, but fuck I feel so pissed off by the whole thing.
Hopefully the next days I’ll make better posts, but ugh April has got off to a shitty start.
The weekend was ok, even though I didn’t do anything too interesting.
But then Sunday, ugh my head felt a bit fun. At first I thought it was just causa stress but then it turned out not to be just a stress headache, because I was in the bathroom all night. Thankfully it wasn’t as bad as the time in December but… ugh.
At about 7 I crawled (literally) out of the bathroom to get my phone, to message that I felt like I’d be in no fit state to come to today’s appointment because, well I’d spent the last 7 hours in the bathroom and knew I’d have no energy.
The rest of yesterday was… eh.
I was drained but couldn’t settle and stressed cause, yeah the last payment hadn’t gone through and I had no reply to my message. Then mum’s friend called and there was some issue with her bag and she expected us to know how to sort it (it seems cause it paid for on one of our cards it has to be one of us that sorts it) whcih additional nonsense.
Eventually I did go to bed and crashed out till this morning.
I woke and felt slightly better but still felt too dizzy to really do anything so I just stayed lying down. Eventually I checked my mail and a message had come in response and it was just… the language used was just appalling. No ‘don’t come if you’re sick’, no reassurance, nothing about not worrying. Just ‘this is mandatory appointment’ ‘your reasoning will be assessed by a decision maker’ and ‘you will lose money if they decide it’s not good enough’. Of course this wasn’t good I didn’t feel up to going, I didn’t feel safe to go. As soon as mum got back her response? To go insist I go and go with me.
(I found out her reasoning was that someone her colleague saw was sectioned and even that wasn’t considered a ‘good reason’ for missing an appointment)
Cue us going on the bus, with a £6 ticket and being unsteady on my feet the whole time I was on there. Only to get there and, when the meeting happens it is…. Two questions. Questions which could have EASILY been answered on the phone but no it required me dragged in person. Beforehand I’d even made a list of notes about the last year but none of them were even relevant.
For the record the two questions were: do you want us to give you extra ‘support’? (Followed by her saying I think I know the answer) and ‘is morning or afternoon good for the next appointment?’.
(Said next appointment is a video call so at least I don’t have to go needless play but for fucks sake,)
To say I’m pissed would be an understatement. If I was well I’d probably have laughed it off and at least picked up some headache meds and some food. As it was it felt like a waste of time and stress, as well as a waste of £6 to go.
Ugh just thinking about it is making me pissed.
When I came back I felt at least able to eat (I’d not eaten in over 36 hours by this point) and I am feeling a little better now, but fuck I feel so pissed off by the whole thing.
Hopefully the next days I’ll make better posts, but ugh April has got off to a shitty start.
